I want a lifelong marriage.  It matters not, whether the flowers are all in place, whether the bridesmaids look beautiful, or whether the meal is delicious.  It matters only that I have a long-lasting, sustaining, caring, loving, growing marriage. 

Likewise, I don't need (nor do I want) the perfect boyfriend or the perfect relationship.  I've been in over a dozen relationships now, and learned that the most important thing in a sustaining relationship is the ability to overcome challenges.  

I need to fight with him, to know how we can settle our differences in the future.  I need to see how he deals with problems, so that I can trust him with future issues.  I need to see him sad, so I can learn how to make him happy. 

Happiness doesn't last forever.  Will he be there when we are sad - if our child dies, our house burns down?  

I wanna go back... at least to visit.
*sighs*

Respondents were given a shortlist and asked to vote for the 10 most ridiculous British laws.

Here they are:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (four percent) (I actually LIKE this law!)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically
becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5
percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want
him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him
knowing (three percent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071106/od_afp/britainlawsoffbeat;_ylt=AvemqiCULkRX.omhQM6w6.kDW7oF

When the feminists of the Sixties and Seventies started protesting
loudly about disparities in the treatment of men and women in areas
such as equality at work and educational opportunities, they also quite
rightly urged women to reclaim their bodies for themselves.

For too long, they said, women had been discouraged from
understanding their own desires while pandering to men's sexual needs.
Their battle cry was: "It's your body - you should do what you want
with it!"

For the first time, women were speaking about taking charge of
their sexuality and sexual relationships. Women also suddenly had
access to better methods of birth control because the Pill freed them
from the fear of unwanted children, and allowed them to postpone
motherhood until it suited them.

Previous generations of women had quite literally laid down
their bodies because it was widely felt that a man should be able to
have sex with his wife whenever he wanted. You were about as likely to
find a magazine article on how women could enhance their sexual
pleasure as you were to see a female in 10 Downing Street.

It certainly wasn't regarded as being a woman's prerogative in
the first six decades of the 20th century to insist on sexual
satisfaction from her husband. In fact, such a woman might well have
been chastised for even thinking about such fulfilment.

But feminism was the catalyst for sweeping changes in the sexual
landscape as other social factors came to influence the way women
thought about their sexual selves.

Music idols such as Debbie Harry of Blondie and Madonna paraded
their sexuality on the stage. Films such as Dirty Dancing, Nine-To-Five
and When Harry Met Sally showed women discovering their strengths and
becoming empowered.

Scores of women's magazines such as Cosmopolitan contained a
wealth of articles ranging from advice about salaries to how to demand
sexual satisfaction.

So what is the result of this sexual revolution, which seems to
have convinced millions of women that "good enough" in the bedroom is
no longer, well, good enough?

In my work as a life coach, agony aunt and psychologist, I
regularly encounter women in their late 20s, 30s and 40s - the
inheritors of the feminist revolution - with bitter regrets over
relationships that have failed on one pivotal issue: the issue of
sexual compromise.

And professionals such as myself are being forced to realise
that feminism, with all the wonderful things it did for women, went too
far with the "I will only do as I please" attitude to sex it
engendered.

It has produced a generation of women who simply refuse to
compromise over sexual matters with their partners. As a result, they
have ruined their relationships.

Jennifer, 38, the director of a marketing company in fashion, is
an excellent case in point. She arrived at a life-coaching session I
was giving, seeking to improve communication skills with her increasing
number of staff.

She's a woman who appears to have it all. No man bosses her
around because she's her own boss. She earns a six-figure salary, has
the luxury-holidays lifestyle along with a supportive and close-knit
group of equally successful female friends. But did she also have a
happy marriage?

I thought my meeting with her would be a straightforward session
about management and communication, but my instincts quickly told me -
when she "inadvertently" admitted that her husband had had an affair -
that more important things were on Jennifer's mind.

She confessed that during the three years before he had strayed,
they'd had virtually no sex - on average once every six months. Because
she had thrown herself into establishing her company, Jennifer had been
working terribly hard and had shown little interest in sex.

This led to arguments, she told me, during which her husband, a
property developer, protested strongly that it left him feeling
cold-shouldered. It never occurred to Jennifer - or the countless other
women I have dealt with on this exact same issue - that eventually he'd
look elsewhere.

Don't misunderstand me. I never encourage or excuse infidelity.
But when you hear story after story of men feeling sexually neglected
by women who find it perfectly natural to put their own interests
before their husband's - and not for a good reason such as a medical
issue or a traumatic event like a bereavement - I can't help but feel
that some men have little choice, bar ending the relationship. After
all, the human sex drive is a powerful thing, and requires careful care
and consideration between two people.

Jennifer and her husband failed to repair the damage to their
relationship, and many months down the line she was suffering bitter
regret over their impending divorce.

Sarah, 39, a solicitor from Surrey, fared a little better. She
didn't avoid the emotional pain Jennifer had suffered, but she did
avoid divorce when her husband asked her for a trial separation.

After he dropped that bombshell, Sarah was forced to re-evaluate
the way she'd been treating the sexual side of their relationship.
Having had two children, she'd switched off having sex as though she
was turning off a tap.

Her view of what made a contented home life was enjoying her
children after a moderately long working day. At that point, sex simply
wasn't on the radar for her.

Sarah had been shrugging off her husband's advances with no
thought towards his feelings. As her husband, an accountant, wasn't the
type to make a fuss as Jennifer's did, Sarah had made the dangerous
assumption that all was well in their world, and that their marriage
was ticking over the way she liked it.

What she hadn't bargained for was the fact that their virtually
sexless marriage had made her husband feel emasculated and unloved.
He'd often made advances prefaced by candlelit dinners. Sarah enjoyed
the meals, but preferred to do some of her casework afterwards.

In measured tones, he'd often asked if there was anything that
he could do differently to reignite her sexual interest? But she'd
pooh-poohed the very thought, as the cut and thrust of her legal work
was more exciting.

In the end, he didn't seek out an affair, but he was seeking a
separation; quietly sick of being refused the warmth and intimacy
they'd once enjoyed.

Once she was over the shock of his suggestion, Sarah came to
realise that what she'd seen as a cosy little world had excluded him as
an equal partner. With a good deal of effort on her part, and goodwill
on his, they managed to work through their difficulties and
re-establish a sex life that both were happy with. But it could have
been very different.

Over the past two decades, I've noticed how much the issues
women raise with me in terms of their sex lives have changed. When I
was in my teens, what was on everyone's mind was simply experimenting
with sex. Women began to feel a real sense of freedom about harnessing
the pleasures their bodies could provide them with.

The message of feminism at that time was that women no longer
had to be frightened of having sex on their terms. And as sexual
matters have become much more open for discussion, there has been a
sea-change when it comes to women asking their partner to satisfy them.
Women are far more likely to seize the sexual moment and have one-night
stands, shortlived flings, and sexually experiment the way a woman of
40 or 50 years ago never would.

Over the past couple of decades, women are also more likely to
have had far more sexual partners, whereas their mothers and certainly
their grandmothers may have had only one partner and presumed that what
they shared was all there was to sex.

Unfortunately, alongside this growing knowledge of what was
satisfying for an individual woman - and what wasn't - was a
feminist-inspired selfishness in relationships when it came to sex.

In researching my new book I've come to this conclusion: what's
been forgotten is that such selfishness and other feelings of
empowerment, which have served women well in the boardroom, don't
necessarily translate to the bedroom.

One divorcee I encountered, Elizabeth, 44, a high-flying
advertising executive, had carved out a successful career from saying
"No" at work to bad ideas and pushy colleagues, and setting firm limits
on what others could and should do. The problem was that she
instinctively translated that hardheaded-attitude and applied it to her
own sexual relationship.

She loved her long-term boyfriend, but said his lack of foreplay
skills was killing off her sexual interest. As far as Elizabeth was
concerned, she'd every right to say "No" to sex. He was hurt and angry
every time he was rebuffed. An invisible wall grew between them until
he suggested breaking up.

Only after much soul-searching did Elizabeth acknowledge that
her blanket ban on sex was destroying their relationship. Brought to
the brink, she realised that actually encouraging sensual skills in him
was a better solution.

Of course, I meet people with all sorts of relationship
problems, but when sex is at the heart of it I've met literally
hundreds of "Sarahs", "Jennifers" and "Elizabeths". They've lacked
interest in sex for a variety of reasons, and expected to set the
ground rules with no negotiation. The consequences? Troubled or broken
relationships.

Some have decided it's worth learning to compromise over sex,
while others have steadfastly refused to budge. All have experienced
some unhappiness, be it dealing with arguments or discovering affairs,
or facing a break-up they didn't want. But the consequences have
definitely been worse for those who fail to compromise.

Just as you may hate being the person responsible for
remembering every one of his relations' birthdays as well as your own,
he may hate being the one who has to take garden waste to the tip. But
such things are all part and parcel of ensuring a relationship works.

You may think it's a terrible comparison to make between chores
and sex. But I believe that sex should be seen as a duty because it is
one of the most fundamental ways in which you can make your partner
feel better.

What it all boils down to is that just as you'd expect to have
discussions over how to spend any spare cash, where to holiday, and
whose parents to spend Christmas with, so, too, do you need to discuss
your sexual desires and needs.

That's what's empowering. It's actually not empowering when a
woman simply says: "No, my body is mine and I'll never meet you
halfway." Because ultimately it may destroy her relationship.

No doubt women of all ages will have strong reactions to what
I'm saying, but it's interesting for me to speak to people from older
generations about this issue. Without compromising all the wonderful
freedoms women now enjoy, not least equality in the workplace, we can
still learn something from our grandparents.

Rather than taking a "me, me, me" attitude to life as soon as
you step into a relationship, it should be a "we, we, we" attitude,
which gives equal weight to both partners' needs. Sometimes that means
making love to your partner even when you're not in the mood. But you
do so because you know it'll make the person you love happy.

Obviously I'm against any excessive pressure from a man for you
to have sex when it's not desired. But rejecting him time and again
simply because you can is almost guaranteed to lead to disaster.

Did those feminists who made so many marvellous strides for
womanhood realise what road they were urging women to travel down when
they urged the sisterhood to take control of their sex lives? It's a
credo I believe has left many women with failed relationships, many
with regrets and bitterness.

You may not want to have sex, just as you may not want to visit
his parents, but you must tend to every aspect of your relationship if
you wish it to survive.

• Dr Pam Spurr's new book, Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide
To Teasing And Pleasing Your Lover (J.R. Books, £7.99), is out now.

What is this "self" that so many seek, that so many people say I should seek?  Is it a collection of favorite activities, foods, colors, books, sports, movies and songs?  Is it the clothes I wear or the makeup I don't?  Is it the number of places I have been to, lived in, slept in?  Is it the car I drive or the place I live or the materials I own? 

Or perhaps I am my "personality profile" - my introverted personality, my shy exterior juxtaposed with an impulsive interior? 

Perhaps it is the combination of the aforementioned list that make up a person.  But even if I were to find an answer for every question, and a "personality profile" from every test - would I truly find myself?

Probably not.

What makes you, you?  And what makes me, me?  What is this thousand-in-one thing about you that makes you so special?

What exactly is a "self"? 

The book of love?

The predator model of love leads to a hunter's way of dating:
Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait
for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all
the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking
services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind
dating all borrow from this "statistical mass" logic.

I've
seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly
exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a
numbers game. It's a soul search.

The other rules for seeking your soul (and its mate)

I would encourage anyone who wants to find a soul mate to follow these three steps.

1. Know thyself

Women who are willing to hide or
detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to
believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and
self-confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a
strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you've
never seen.

Next time you're feeling fretfully single, try
exploring your own nature: Write down your favorite foods or colors or
songs or books or sports. Visit a therapist. Embark on a voyage of
self-discovery for its own sake and because it is on that journey that
you are likely to bump into the perfect traveling companion.

2. Value thyself

The single women I know are frequently advised, "Stop being so picky,"
"Have a better attitude," and "Lower your standards," perhaps to the
point where they'll date anyone with a penis and a pulse.

I
believe this is precisely the wrong approach. Why? Consider our
statistical friend, the bell curve. The great bulge in the middle
represents areas where you are, well, average. This is also the part of
you that could easily be mixed and matched with the largest number of
potential mates. The skinnier upper end represents your greatest gifts,
the areas where you are most talented and extraordinary. The few people
who share your most exceptional characteristics are your tribe, the
population that is most likely to contain your heart's partner.

I suggest that you should be pickier, less accepting and more committed
to the "bad attitude" that will make you seek people who are
extraordinary in the same way you are.

Be courteous to men who
don't appeal to you, but for God's sake, don't waste your evenings--
let alone your nights -- with them. "Oh," conventional rule-keepers
might exclaim, "you'll have to spend some nights alone!" Yes, indeed.
Your pool of candidates is much smaller at the high-quality end of the
bell curve, your chances of having no date on Saturday much larger if
you refuse to go out with men who bore or repulse you.

But if memory serves, the boredom and/or repulsion of bad dating is much worse than spending a few hours on your own.

3. Engage thyself

The authors of "The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart
of Mr. Right" emphasize that in order to get a guy, a woman should
always act busy -- for instance, when a desirable man calls, it's wise
to set a timer to go off a few minutes later, then recite a memorized
exit line, such as "Sorry, gotta go. I have a million things to do."

Here's my crazy idea: How about actually having a million things to do?
How about actually filling your life with interesting activities? If
you want to attract a partner, identify what you love to do, and do it
-- a lot. Involved, busy people really are more attractive, so if you
want to get engaged to your soul mate, start by being engaged in
activities that fascinate you -- especially those that have nothing to
do with dating and that make you forget to go love hunting.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/11/05/o.get.a.man/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

I mis-shifted last night, from 5th to 2nd, on the freeway and locked up my rear wheels...
then I mis-shifted this morning...

What's going on here?  I haven't done that for awhile...

My poor, poor Miata.

when i start drooling over cars again!!

OMG!! OMG!! I love it soo much!!

Ok... I've decided... that this car WILL BE MINE.

I am SOOOOOOOOO in love!!!!

Currently: Engaged!!

to: The STi Limited

Will Marry in XXXX?   *sighs* Can't wait.... can't wait... for... it... to... be... MINE!!!  FOREVER!!!

STi's Wedding Vow to ME: I give you my key, keep it with love and joy. I choose you to be my
wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for
worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish as long as we both shall live.

Me to STi: I, take you to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I
come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life, so I happily give you my love.  I will love you, care for you and seek to please you. Life has prepared me for you and so I
will ever strengthen, maintain, clean, and encourage you. Therefore,
throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my
life as a faithful wife.

The HUSBAND:

STi Intercooler

STi Interior
 

"Of course, you have my word."1

1
Disclaimer:  This agreement ("promise") is valid for a period of 10 seconds after the agreement has been made ("agreement period").  Any promises made can, and may, then be amended, broken, forgotten or completely ignored after the agreement period.

I guess I'm not much of a planner.